


Am I Your Husband or Your Taxi Service

by ohjustpeachy



Series: Things They Say When... [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 22:57:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19282927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohjustpeachy/pseuds/ohjustpeachy
Summary: Steve calls Tony when he gets pulled over for speeding and realizes he doesn't have a license. Well, a license that isn't from 1940.





	Am I Your Husband or Your Taxi Service

One thing you don’t really think about when you’re Captain America, as law-abiding as he might be, is getting a new license. Somewhere between coming out of the ice and saving the world a few dozen times, it slips Steve’s mind. He rides his motorcycle anywhere he needs to go, and he usually stays (relatively) within the speed limit. He’s a man of the law kind of guy now, saving the world, following the rules. After the whole faking-his-identity-to fight-a-war thing, he’s done with his life of crime. Honestly, a license never even crossed his mind. 

So when he gets pulled over one night, coming back from the  _ pharmacy _ of all places, speeding home with wipes for baby Peter, he almost laughs when the cop stops him. 

“Sorry, officer, won’t happen again,” is all he says, and flashes his best All American Cap smile. This guy, though, was having none of it. No smiles, no  _ thanks for saving New York _ , he’s all business. License, registration, insurance. Steve, of course, had none of that. He digs in his wallet and sheepishly pulls out a license from 1940; more than a little expired, and he tries to think if he’d  _ ever _ had registration or insurance. 

“You have to know who I am, though,” Steve says, still pretty sure the guy was going to end up letting him go with a warning and a laugh. 

“If you can’t produce your license and registration, sir, I’m going to have to give you a ticket and a fine, and prohibit you from driving until you can,” Officer…  _ Davis _ says to him. Steve rolls his eyes, he can’t help it, this was  _ insane. _ It’s not that he was above the law per se, but he deserved a break from it at the very least. 

He swears the officer is smirking as Steve sighs heavily and pulls out his phone, sure Tony was never _ever_ going to let him hear the end of this one. Steve can hear it already, the _tsk tsk_ of Tony’s tongue, the raised eyebrows, the way he’d laughingly tease him that if _Captain America_ couldn’t obey the law, how could anyone be expected to? Then he imagines Tony taking it a step further, like he always does, and asking to roleplay a ridiculous cop scenario in bed and his face flushes. He can’t help _that_ , either. He bites his tongue and swallows his pride and dials. At least Tony wasn’t bailing him out of an actual _jail_ _cell._

“Hey, jailbird, need a ride?” Tony’s drawling voice makes Steve look up from his phone and he smiles despite himself. Tony is leaning out the open window, wearing clothes he’d never usually leave the house in, black joggers and an oversized t-shirt of Steve’s, Peter asleep in his carseat in the back. Steve is pretty sure he’s never been happier to see his little family. People had started to take pictures once they realized who it was pulled over on the side of the road, angrily reading about traffic laws on his phone.

“Yeah, yeah, good one,” Steve mutters, gesturing at the police officer that his husband was here to take him home, and he was no longer a danger to the streets of Manhattan. He gives one last withering stare and ducks into the passenger seat, feeling his face heat up as Tony turns his eyes on him. 

“Please don’t,” Steve says, but he’s smiling a little even as he says it. 

“Oh no, come on, you gotta let me have this,” Tony cackles. “Star Spangled man with a need for speed.” Tony leans over and kisses Steve’s cheek before taking off.

“Hey, can we stop for a burger on the way home?” Steve asks. “I’m starving.”

“Now you’re pushing it, Mario Andretti, what am I, your husband or your taxi service?” 

“Mm, both? Knight in shining armor? Will that get me a burger?” Steve prods.

“Yes dear, Steve McQueen needs to eat too,” Tony says. He pointedly does the speed limit, not a mile over, the entire way home. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi! I'm omg-just-peachy on Tumblr!


End file.
